Jaffna House

1 February 2013 - Jaffna House: Much kothu about Tooting

The Diamond Jubilee. £3 billion.
The London Olympics. £9 billion.
A year of eating and reviewing curry in Tooting. Priceless.

It’s been a momentous inaugural year for the Tooting Curry Blog, and over 17,500 hits at time of writing, a legacy has certainly been left in London post-2012, despite doubts from the critics. We survive bowels intact, ready to leave no poppadum unturned in our quest to find Tooting’s best curry based nutrition in 2013.

First on the hit list: Jaffna House. And hit it we did.

It’s fair to say that Friday night and the excitement of our first curry in a while got the better of us. Several beers at work, then a few more in London Bridge were enough to whet the appetite and loosen us up for a curry. Commitment to the cause never wavered, but apologies to the readers for being half soaked and shoveling it down rather than giving it a proper taste, but here goes anyway…

Venue

Situated two doors down from Radha Krishna Bhavan, on the corner of Tooting High Street and Coverton Road, it’s hard to miss Jaffna House. With a bold, sky blue sign to match Cycle Superhighway 7 on its doorstep, this joint actually has two entrances. On the high street is the take away entrance with a few tables and chairs for the more amateur diners. For the pros and those in the know the restaurant is round the back, via a side entrance. Inside you’ll take a step back into the 70s with a bar at the back that would make Delboy jealous. Nevertheless, it has a cosy feel and is a quieter diversion from the hustle and bustle of the likes of Lahore Karahi up the road.

My notes also say there were footsteps on the ceiling…despite having no recollection of what I meant and in the absence of Lionel Richie to consult on the physics of such a feat, I’m going to put it down as a positive. Likewise, the option to dine roadside or à l'arrière is commendable and bespoke napkins printed with Jaffna House insignia are a nice touch. 7/10.

Starters and Sides

Poppadoms
Meat Roti
Mutton Roll x 2
Cutlet x 2
Garlic Naan

We took the waiter’s recommendation on the roti which, like the rest of the meal, proved a little stodgy and bland. The croquet shaped mutton rolls were better, as was the fish ball cutlet that offered a bit of spice. However, the overriding feeling was that the chef had got a bit giddy with the deep fat frier which might suit some, but we prefer a bit more culinary subtlety…and aren’t Scottish. Similarly, the poppadoms were overtly greasy, albeit this left us in no doubt that they were fresh. More positively, the garlic naan was notable, but the chillies hidden within its depths took young Tom by surprise. 5/10

Curry

Chicken Stringhopper
Seafood Kothu
Chicken Tikka

As with the starters and with our experience of Sri Lankan food thus far, we found the mains here rather dry. Whilst we acknowledge the cultural difference, the lack of sauce found in a stringhopper or kothu doesn’t quite do it for us. Unless we are ignorantly doing it wrong these are more like substitutes for biryanis than curry. Also, it has to be said they could have been replaced by those we sampled in Apollo Banana Leaf half way through and we’d have been none the wiser. The chicken tikka offered a moist and succulent departure from the carb-loading, but altogether, not a huge amount to write home about from the mains here (although it did help soak up some of the pintage). 5/10

Staff

We can only speak for the service in the back restaurant, but it was very professional, far from the haphazard table service elsewhere. Beyond that, I can remember little, but Tom is keen to mark up the waiter for looking like a bhangra superstar. Each to their own. 7/10.

Value For Money

With every Sri Lankan restaurant there’s always the hope that there’s a Ceylon (I’ve made this joke before, but it has to be made again) and Jaffna House didn’t disappoint. Despite a lack of BYOB, there were some Sri Lankan beers on offer which, along with the food, came to £15 a head. So, on pure price it was good value, but the food could’ve been better. 7/10

Summary

As mentioned already, the food wasn’t the best here, but another visit might prove more fruitful given the other dishes on offer. Tom was also sidelined by a rogue chilli and had some severe repercussions the next day, but to blame the restaurant rather than his bingeing and low heat tolerance might be unfair. All in all, the scores total to 31/50.

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Radha Krishna Bhavan

26 October 2012 - Radha Krishna Bhavan: Tooting curry blog election special

“Together, we can help make sure that every family that walks into a restaurant can make an easy, healthy choice”- Michelle Obama

With America soon heading to the polls to choose the next US President, we decided to pay homage and cast our own vote on one of Tooting’s favourite curry venues – Radha Krishna Bhavan.

In a true-to-life tribute to American politics, we have decided to pass some ignorant yet powerful verdicts over the culture of others, namely the Indian food industry of Tooting. However, this week there’s a twist. In an encomium to the two-party system, we have offered a balanced debate, one that, for the first time, pits the vigour and resolve of the Tooting Curry Blog against rival budding reviewers to determine who really is giving you the most bang for your bhaji in the Bec to Broadway blogging battleground.

Disclaimer: All rival comments are quoted verbatim, but not necessarily in context. The Tooting Curry Blog reserves the right to twist and spin interpretations in its favour.

Infrastructure (Venue)

Andy Hayler, author of the London Transport Restaurant Guide and a guest critic on each series of BBC's Masterchef: The Professionals has said, ‘This establishment (previously called the Sree Krishna) is an old faithful’.

We say - Mr. Hayler, you're entitled as a critic to your own opinions, and to your own blog, but not to your own facts. Sree Krishna is in fact a separate entity to Radha Krishna Bhavan as any knowledgeable fan of Tooting cuisine should know. However, we will forgive your geographical confusion as you were no doubt distracted by the alluring interior within. As Chris Morrison rightly points out ‘The palm tree beach wallpaper is really enjoyable’. Similarly, Square Meal state, ‘that , RKB is not a venue where subtlety is a priority’ and we concur - the 1980s are calling to ask for their interior design back.

Not only is the décor lively, but so too is the atmosphere. Our very own Tom Scrimgour was quick to point out the ‘good vibes’, a far more subtle and respectful observation than Kath Dyer’s: ‘a lot of Asian customers…got to be good’.

In general, a colourful and pleasant surround. Our verdict – 8/10.

First Term (Starters and Sides)

Poppadoms
King Prawn Poori
Chicken wings
Garlic Parotha X 2
Pilau rice

I think one anonymous Google User hit the nail on the head when he said ‘i like those mini pizza sticks there relly good for my belly great evreything plese order the mini pizza sticks’….but, seriously (and more coherently), we agree with the sentiment.

London Eating may have exaggerated when they said the puffed poori breads were outstanding, but nonetheless, our King Prawn variety were a nice, subtle opener, albeit with all the filling in one and not the other. Better still were the chicken wings that offered a great diversion from the usual carb-loaded suspects, with a tangy, peppery glaze, complimented by caramelized onions.

The Garlic Parotha was so good Tom ordered a second. The rice and poppadoms were standard, but Tom’s laying the blame for some next day repercussions on the onion dip (and strangely not on the fact he’d had two curries in two days).

Consistently good – 7/10.

Second Term (Curry)

Erachi Ulathiyathu
Kerala Chicken Curry

‘I’ve had better microwave curries from Tesco’ – ‘Ashley’

In TCB’s opinion, this has been probably the biggest whopper that's been told during the course of this campaign. More accurately, as one commentator on Trip Advisor points out, RKB serves ‘very good Keralan food’.

Once again, we question the judgement and taste (in more ways than one) of other critics, namely juratedudley, who thought the curries were bland and thought it appropriate to make a ‘joke’ ‘at the expense of minorities: ‘My boyfiend [perhaps an appropriate typo] made a joke about how many so called ethnic restaurants try to make the food as bland as possible to the English/European clientelle’.

We, here at the Tooting Curry Blog, on the other hand, are more tolerant and tasteful, and thoroughly appreciated the restaurant’s Keralan specials. In this respect, we echo Ashley Nickels who recommends the Erachi Ulathiyathu – lamb deliciously spiced with pepper, chopped coconut slices, coriander and chilli. Likewise, the traditional, Keralan chicken curry was up there with the best on the Broadway. 8/10

The Working Class (Staff)
Attitudecounts says, ‘the staff were excellent, they showed great professionalism’, and London Eating are spot on –‘The service is brisk and efficient, but you can have a relaxed meal out here (unlike, say Mirch Masala, where they rush you in and out).’

The service at RKB is probably the best we’ve experienced so far, much more consistent, polite and disciplined than others on the high street. 8/10

As an aside, in the spirit of the election, we at TCB would like to take the time to campaign for greater gender equality in the Tooting restaurant industry, as the majority of jobs seem to be for men. Can't we find some women that are also qualified? We are going to reach out to a number of groups, Mitt Romney-style, and see if they have any binders full of women to help us in our crusade.

The Economy (Value For Money)

‘Great meal, I had king fish ,good service and buzzing atmosphere, all for £12 per head including wine, what more can you ask? - coinshooter

What more can you ask, you say? We ask for the same value, as you, as unfortunately we didn’t get it from RKB on our visit! The final bill came to a whopping £62.65 between two.

Immediately we lost value from the non-BYOB policy, but in general the dishes were just that couple of quid more here than elsewhere. Whilst we acknowledge the food was of a high standard, relative to neighbouring venues it still didn’t quite justify the price tag. Many others have said Radha Krishan Bhavan is good VFM, but unfortunately from our visit we have to rate poorly. 5/10

Summary

‘The better version of Sree Krishna’ – who knows, we shall hopefully see soon, but in general, don’t let the few extra pounds on the bill put you off piling them on your waistline at RKB.

One reviewer says ‘Oh how I miss you! This is the only reason I miss Tooting’. Whilst it saddens us to read such a blinkered view of Tooting, we can see why many love and keep returning to Radha Krishna Bhavan. Some of the best food we’ve sampled, in a lively, welcoming setting; well worth a visit. 36/50

And so we leave you with some final words of wisdom:

The choice you make this November will shape great things, historic things, and those things will determine the most intimate and important aspects of every Tooting life and every Tooting family. This is an election about Tooting and it is an election about the Tooting family. All elections matter. This one matters a great deal. Over the years of our nation’s history, choices our fellow citizens have made have changed the country’s course–they were turning points of defining consequence. – Mitt Romney

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Dosa n Chutny

21 August 2012 - Dosa n Chutny: Minus the chutney

With a heavy heart and a tear in my eye (caused by the dust from cleaning the skeletons out of the cupboard in my old house), I left Tooting for pastures new (Clapham South). However, you know what they say, you can take the boy out of Tooting, but you can’t take Tooting out of the boy, and, with this mantra on my lips and a spring in my step I was soon on my southbound way back to the curry capital of Europe.

Temporarily homeless, I had been residing on the sofa bed of my good friend Max. As a sign of my gratitude (not to be confused as a token rent payment, or any other payment for that matter), I thanked Max in the only way I knew how, by taking him for a curry and giving him a mention in a highly esteemed and extremely popular blog. Tom did not benefit from this act of kindness and was forced to stump up his share.

Tom joined us (late…again), ready to get his lassi on. We decided to take a fresh approach to finding our hosts for the evening, and let the scent of curry lead us on. We ended up outside the unassumingly tangerine frontage of Dosa n Chutney. The place was bouncing so we went inside and waited to be seated…and waited some more…until we just decided to sit ourselves down. Ten minutes later we got some menus and so began a magical journey of spice enthused pleasure.

Venue

Dosa n Chutney’s orange framed exterior was reflected internally by the mirrored walls. LED lighting and garish furniture is seemingly the order of the day south of the Broadway crossroads and DnC didn’t disappoint. Though a little packed in, it was lively and the mirrors gave the illusion of space as well as the illusion of friendship for Tom on his lonely side of the table. Adding to the colour was the presence of a TV transmitting infectious Bollywood cheer and, with a bus stop directly outside, convenience is also on the menu. All in all, a simple, but charming setting for what would prove to be a delightful meal. 7/10

Starters and Sides

3 Poppadom
Vegetable Kothu
Vegetable Biryani
2 x Veechu parotha
Peshwari Naan
3 Mango Lassi

Poppadoms always taste the same, right? WRONG. These were probably the best poppadoms we’ve sampled so far, oily fresh and crisp.

You should have seen the look of horror on Mr Scrimgour’s face when they said they had no mango chutney – it was like he’d just been told Middlesbrough Supporters South had folded. However, the shock was quickly eased by an alternative and original green dip that tickled the taste buds and amply substituted for the mango, which led us to assume this was the famous ‘n’ chutney the restaurant was named after.

The breads were fluffy, fresh and moist, like a…maybe I’ll skip the simile this time. However, the peshwari was not quite as sweet as at other locations, largely due to the minimal coconut filling, but what it lacked was made up by the kothu and biryani. Both of the vegetable variety, they were an improvement on Apollo Banana Leaf’s efforts which were dry in comparison. They also had a bit of heat which amplified the range of textures and flavours on offer from the veg, rice and kothu. Near flawless, and sizeably portioned, these were great sides and were washed lovingly down by the thick and creamy lassi, which did come with mango. 9/10

Curry

Hyderabad Bhuna Ghost
Chettinadu Fish (Anchovy) Curry
Chicken Mughlai Kebab

The curries continued where the starters and sides left off.

In honour of our outsourced IT technical support colleagues in India, we had to try the Hyderabad Bhuna Ghost - tender pieces of boneless lamb cooked with ginger, garlic, coriander and whole red chillies-Hydrabadi style. A great dish, with a lovely kick from the chillies, this comes highly recommended. Similarly, the Chettinadu Fish Curry (a house special) was a sublime blend of flavours that was complimentary to the lamb, despite containing anchovies as a substitute for the usual king fish. The Chicken Mughlai Kebab enhanced the meal further, but the tender tandoori chicken was not as impressive as the other two dishes. 8/10

Staff

As mentioned already we weren’t exactly welcomed with open arms, and the staff weren’t particularly attentive throughout the evening. The waiter also started reading our order back to us, despite him having read it off a list on my phone in the first place – so not the sharpest chilli in the curry. Nevertheless no other real incidents or complaints, but numbers were lower than further on up the road so top marks can’t be given. 6/10

Value For Money

The whole meal came to about £38 for three, so certainly not the cheapest, but not too expensive either. We were also so impressed with the food and feeling strangely flush that we ended up giving an additional £7 tip. So, never let it be said that the TCB are not generous - not only are we providing top notch journalism for free, but contributing greatly to the local economy as well. 8/10

Summary

Fantastic food in a lively setting that scores highly. It was also refreshing to receive a 'full throttle' curry as opposed to the 'curry for the pasty white guys' which we so often receive. The evidence is clearly captured here, en-brow (although it is unclear whether this was induced by the curry or impending homelessness) >>>

Missing out on top marks due to the staff, Dosa n Chutney comes in at a lofty second place so far, just behind Spice Village. Richly deserved for the food, it’s a total of 38/50.

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Apollo Banana Leaf

Please read this review and others on our new site www.londoncurryblog.com

4 July 2012 - Apollo Banana Leaf: Tooting, We Have A Problem

After an uncomfortably long time, we got back on the Balti on a Wednesday night. The challenge had been set by an anonymous tipster who posted on our last blog – “Do yourselves a favour and try Apollo Banana Leaf, it is incredible!” Not wanting to disappoint a fan we rose to the challenge. The evening started with a long wait for Tom outside Tooting Broadway tube – I thought something was afoot and it turned out he’d been at the podiatrist (and grossly overcharged).

Once stocked up on BYO beers, we trekked down to Apollo Banana Leaf, boldly going where no curry blogger had gone before; one small step for naan, one giant leap for naan-kind. Mike Stone was supposed to join us, but a bout of the measles (that later turned out to be mis-diagnosed) kept him grounded. This curry mission didn’t go as smoothly as planned, but nevertheless we made it home to tell the tale…

Venue

Seemingly named after an aborted, 1970s, NASA mission, Apollo Banana Leaf, is a Sri Lankan restaurant situated on the outer space of Tooting (the borders are disputed, as the scene is constantly expanding). Unassuming from the outside, it is deceptively large inside, much like the TARDIS. Whilst more traditional in its restaurant layout than many Tooting establishments it is still more Millenium Falcon than… a more advanced space ship that I can’t think of (Star Wars is overrated – there, I said it).

The atmosphere inside was lively, as was the décor. The walls were covered top to bottom with Windows desktop-esque landscapes and in the gaps were some choice artworks; one, a painting of American Indians, seemed quite alien and out of place. We were joined at the dinner table by some ants which has to be considered a negative, however at a neighbouring table sat one Alun Armstrong (New Tricks) – our first celebrity spot and definitely worth an X Factor point. Despite attracting the rich and famous, this is all in all a pretty standard establishment (plus the ants) so a 6/10 for Venue.

Starters and Sides

Poppadoms X 5
Mutton Rolls X 5
Chappathi X 3
Parotta X 3
Chicken masala dosa

As a Sri Lankan restaurant we opted for that part of the world as we gazed down upon on our menus. After radio silence for a good hour, the waiters finally brought our poppadoms which were rather disappointing, and the sole accompaniment of mango chutney was a meagre ration size. We are sad to transmit that these were probably the most disappointing poppadoms we’ve experienced on the circuit so far.

The mutton rolls were better, but looked like giant croquet potatoes and you could’ve been forgiven for thinking they’d come from Iceland down the road. The chappathi and parotta were standard, even if we couldn’t agree on which was which, but the chicken masala dosa was pretty decent - the stand out dish. However, in general, nothing star-studded about the starters here and the sub-par poppadoms have to be marked down - 5/10

Curry

Squid curry
Vegetable Kothu
Special Kothu
Mixed Devil
Special Biryani

Kothu is a traditional Sri Lankan dish containing chopped Roti bread; we opted for the Special and Vegetable varieties. The addition of the Roti adds texture, but does feel like a break in food convention. As previously established in other reviews, the word special on Tooting menus is used about as sparingly as the BBC use Fern Cotton, and, much like the ubiquitous Cotton, often leaves one underwhelmed and let down. In fairness, Apollo bucked the trend.

The Special Kothu was one of few specials listed on the menu and was pleasantly unique. In this instance, Special meant a blend of vegetables, chicken and squid. Unsurprisingly, the Squid Curry also contained squid, but so did pretty much every dish. As someone with a mild aversion to sea food this was far from ideal, but my co-eaters enjoyed the variety, especially the most varied dish of all – the Mixed Devil. Once again, we were drawn to the most ambiguous item on the menu, in this case, a £14.99, spicy meat mountain of chicken, lamb and squid. This was an interesting and generous addition to the table, with strong flavours and a meat for all seasons (nearly).

Similarly, pleasant was the Special (yes, another one) Biryani, which notably hid, amongst its rice, an entire boiled egg. Now, I don’t know if this is the Sri Lankan equivalent to a Scotch Egg or just a confused take on the Kinder surprise, but it went down well (the Biryani, not the egg).

In general, the only real criticism of the curries on offer here was that, despite the copious amounts of sea creature hidden within, the dishes lacked moisture. In contrast to their Indian cousins, these dishes were quite dry and, dare I say it, lacked subtly as a result. Honestly, if they’d mixed all the dishes together I don’t think I’d have noticed. So, whilst different, I’ll have to give the curries a 6/10.

Service

Despite its rocket-like name, warp speed is not something Apollo can be praised for. Whilst amiable and neat when at the table, the staff were rarely there. Unlike other Tooting establishments, who have more employees than the Chinese Army, this seemed a small, family affair with only two waiters to start with (presumably father and son). Mum seemed to join in later, as a woman in a white hoody, who looked like she’d just been roped in from the sofa, added her services. Despite this emergency 50% increase in staff, the service was far from meteoric. As mentioned, we waited a lightyear for our poppadoms to arrive, and when we asked for the Nethali Fry we were informed it would take another forty minutes we just didn’t have time for. Having not experienced such a long wait before, we unfortunately have to mark ‘The Leaf’ down here; 5/10.

Value For Money

Once again the economies of scale came into play as the bill came to £51 between five of us, making it a fantastic £11 a head with a tip. With BYOB on top of this, it was so cheap it was as if there was a Ceylon! I do think that the whole experience, and not just price, has to be factored into the value for money equation though, so all in all, an 8/10.

Summary

I don’t think Apollo Banana Leaf will be rocketing to the top of our rankings, but neither will it be falling to earth. Peeling back the surface, it lacked the gravity of its Indian and Pakistani counterparts. However, like its neighbours, it didn’t scrimp on portions (with the exception of the mango chutney) and we walked out far from weightless. If squid’s your thing then get down here, but if not, maybe change your orbit and make your Milky Way over the road to Onam.

In summary, it didn’t leave a Deep Impact, but is far from restaurant Armageddon. Apollo Thirteen would be a better analogy – good effort, but didn’t quite get the job done - however, it does get the X Factor point for Alun ‘Neil’ Armstrong, giving a grand total of 31/50.

PS. A free poppadom to anyone who makes a comment containing a space related pun

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Sarashwathy Bavans

16 May 2012 - Sarashwathy Bavans: and the 6ft dosa
For the first time on this blog we have decided to change things around a little, and put a Patel amongst the pigeons. The Brothers in Naans have taken a step back and are relinquishing creative control, handing over the reins to the one and only Krishen Patel.

Krishen is a real up and coming player on the Tooting curry scene, having previously cruised the streets of North London in search of curry perfection. Despite being vegetarian, he really knows his Pasanda from his Patia and what he lack in physical size he more than makes up for in curry proficiency. He has had more curries than we have had, hot curries, so naturally we were keen to see what he would bring to the table. If nothing else, Krishen would bring an air of authenticity to proceedings that is so often missing from our curry house visits.

Photo taken from Mrs Patel's mantelpiece 

We met for a pre-curry pint in JJ Moons, where, as the only three non-members of the British National Party we were greeted with a little distain. We were prepared to throw Krishen to the (three) lions in order to save ourselves, but then realised that he was writing the blog so decided to drink up and move on.

The location, Sarashwathy Bavans, was decided upon due to Krishen’s meat aversion, it sits at the Broadway end of Tooting High Street and describes itself as ‘the perfect atmosphere for a homely South Indian’. It certainly was homely, in the sense that we could well have been in one of our front rooms as we were literally the only customers. We were tempted to abandon ship and try Dosa Chutney next door, which was a beehive of action, but we held fast and stuck with Sara. We entered and asked politely whether a table was available, unfortunately the waiter did not pick up on this tongue in cheek introduction and quickly ushered us to a table near the window.

Now let us view the curry through the eyes (and subsequent dense prescription) of our guest blogger Krishen...

Venue

If you wanted to know what Sarashwathy Bavans looks like from the exterior I'm afraid I can't tell you because when you go to Google Streetview it's behind a bus stop and the 280 completely blocks the view. I can, however, tell you that it is opposite an imposing Sainsbury's, which is very handy given the BYOB policy (eight cans of Budweiser), and a short hop from Tooting Broadway tube station. There’s also nothing that Tooting Curry Blog loves more than being inclusive, so we were pleased to note the presence of a massive ramp outside for wheelchair access. Although, the inclusion of the lesser-abled is to the exclusion of meat, as this is a vegetarian restaurant.

Inside there were some pretty fancy, faux-crystal, chandeliers with LED lighting (think the Fortress of Solitude in Superman), hairdresser-y chairs and, sadly, zero customers. It was noted by Tom that Dosa Chutney next door was 'pumping' which made the lack of conversational hum all the more galling, and, despite the piped-in sounds of royalty-defeating musak (Seal, Michael Jackson, theme from 'Evita'), the ambience was sorely lacking.

We hoped the rotating lighting might eventually turn things around, but ultimately the interior design, and its many mirrored walls, poorly reflected the curry class of the locale. All in all 6/10

Starters and Sides

Bavans Special Poppadoms Bhel Poori
Bhaji Platter

It has to be said that Sarashwathy seemed to be adherent to French style dining (I saw David Mitchell talk about this on QI) so it's hard to say exactly where the sides started and the mains began. Anyway, as per TCB tradition a round of poppadoms was ordered. They were listed on the menu as ' Bavans Special Poppadoms' and came garnished with onion, tomato and coriander. They had a good crunch to them and the fresh dressings livened up what is a simple starter. However, fans of dip might want to steer clear, as these poppadoms were delivered solo, something which seemed to disturb the normally inscrutable Brothers in Naans.

In addition, some Bhel Poori was ordered, and the zesty crunchyness seemed to go down well among all who sailed in its puffed rice waters. Finally, a Bhaji Platter was delivered and, although they looked alright, they lacked the flavour of the deep-fried vegetables they entombed. Ultimately, they were hollow, stodgy and lacking in taste, much like Jeremy Clarkson.

Generally though, the starters didn’t quite hit Top Gear, and like JC (Clarkson not Christ) weren’t the best for reviewing. 6/10

Curry

Aubergine Fried Curry
Stringhopper
Vegetable Makhawala
Navaratna Kurma
Family Dosa

Now despite the fact that I offered to write this post, my notes are frankly awful. I was only armed with Post-its (couldn't find a note pad) a biro (found one) and a belly full of Polish beer, consequently I can't remember in fine detail what was 'hot' and what was 'made mild for the casuals'.

From what I can piece together: the Aubergine Fried Curry was delicious, with the eponymous vegetable being cooked to perfection, lending it an almost meaty texture. Despite this, the carnivores in my company ignorantly stated ‘it lacked lamb’, however, they did ultimately concede satisfaction with this eggplant-based delight.

The Stringhopper also stood out; it was an Indian vermicelli-esque dish that melted in the mouth, and, like The Wire character it was named after, was ruthless and business-like in its delivery and loved by all.

The centre piece of the dinner was the Family Dosa, which was described on the menu as being 6ft and weighed in at a princely £12. It was definitely worth it, as the huge dosa (oo-er) bestrode the table in a simliar (but more palatable) version of those grotesque sushi restaurants where you can eat food off a naked woman-plate. The dosa itself was crispy, hollow and perhaps a bit too oily. It did come with two additional curries and, although it was really only 4ft, the novelty factor validated the purchase. 6/10

N.B. A word of warning for vegans though – most dishes contained paneer.

Service

The less contact I have with people I don't know, the better. If you share this sentiment then Saraswathy will not disappoint. The staff were prompt, but not intrusive. My only criticism was that at 22:06 the waiter started putting chairs on tables which felt a bit defeatist. To his credit though, earlier, when taking the order, he committed it entirely to memory rather than writing anything down. This is exactly the type of showmanship we were looking for, although, as we were the only customers, it’s likely this was for his own entertainment rather than ours. This also resonated with me later on, as my approach to note taking for this review was similar, but, unlike me he was more successful in his recall. 6/10

Value For Money

“What's the damage?” Is something that a terrible person might say at the end of a meal/financial transaction. It was £15 per head. To give that amount context consider this: the following day I woke up feeling full, in fact I managed to skip breakfast AND lunch - that's three meals! In a sense you can't afford not to eat at Saraswathy. This is also taking into account the absence of meat a negative which may be a sticking point for the less ethical/morally inferior amongst you. 8/10

Summary

Bravo Krishen! Bravo! Some lovely curry coverage there. So where does that leave us? Well Sarashwathy Bavans was a pleasant enough meal and not charging corkage is always appreciated. Unfortunately, however, the distinct lack of meat did detract from, well let’s be honest everything! It’s not all doom and gloom though, it gives us great pleasure to award an X-factor point. Any establishment that can knock out a 6 foot dosa deserves some recognition; it is for these sorts of feats that the X-factor system was introduced. So with that taken into consideration overall scores are 33/50

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Vijaya Krishna

12 April 2012 - Vijaya Krishna: Enter Penguin

Undeterred by a weekend of gorging on chocolate, we booked in another curry for the week after the Easter bank holiday. After a break from the balti, we were keen to get tucked into a plethora of poppadum, paratha and pilau pleasures. After a lot of deliberation about the venue and turning down a chance to debut in Chennai Dosa on account of its no alcohol policy, we decided upon the South Indian, Vijaya Krishna restaurant.

Louise ‘Penguin’ Hitchen had the pleasure of joining the ‘Brothers in Naans’ (despite a number of let downs we are humble and forgiving chaps, and didn’t mind giving Hitch ‘The Stitch’ a third chance).

Prior to the curry we had a couple of pints in The Antelope, and – a short spring(bok) to the venue, merely metres away. Louise was waddling, alive with anticipation, she blurted, ‘I haven’t been this excited since the 2011 release of Happy Feet 2!’

Vijaya Krishna, is a curry house held in high esteem by the locals offering light Keralan fare so would it live up to its reputation? Here’s what we thought.

Venue

Vijaya Krishna is situated East of Tooting Broadway tube, on the Mitcham Road, and generally considered to be something of a hidden treasure. A small, intimate venue, it is a more conventional curry restaurant than some of its canteen-style neighbours. This is certainly to its benefit in some respects, but it does lack the individual character and idiosyncrasies that make a Tooting curry house a Tooting curry house. This issue was not helped by the fact that there was about as much atmosphere as in the exosphere!

With ornate furniture and South Indian relics (some disturbingly phallic) adorning the walls, it is pleasant enough for a date (if you were maverick enough to suggest a curry based date) or quiet affair, but more raucous, lager-lugging, curry louts would be best advised to go elsewhere, especially as this is not a BYOB venue. Three huge air conditioning units on the ceiling slightly detracted from the charm, but we’ll give it a cool 7/10

Starters and Sides

6 Poppadoms and dips
Mysore Bonda
Vegetable Biryani (with sauce)
Coconut Rice
Green Chilli Paratha
Sweet Coconut Paratha
Garlic Paratha

We started, as is customary, with the traditional poppadoms, which came with a wide array of five dips – raita, mango, onion chutney, lime pickle and a coleslaw-style number. The raita was slightly too yoghurty, but the lime pickle was particularly good. Last time out the proverbial poppadom bar had been raised, so we were left a little disappointed, as these just didn’t stack up (not literally, but from a taste perspective) This lead to Louise’s only joke (contribution J) of the evening ‘Poppadom Preach’.....................................An awkward silence followed.

We then chose the Mysore Bonda for no other reason other than they came in a set of three. The menu described them as potato croquettes spiced with fresh ginger, curry leaves, coriander leaves, black pepper and dipped in a crunchy batter and fried. These fried balls lived up to their billing and came accompanied with two dips, both of which were a delight and really overshadowed the Bondas themselves. They were coconut based and thick in texture, one spiced with green, and the other red, chilli - a welcome addition to the table as the extra was gratefully mopped up with paratha.

The Coconut Rice was garnished with poppy seeds that added a crispy touch and the Vegetable Biryani, not only included okra, but came with a complimentary sauce that added spiced tomato value and texture. On the other hand, the Parathas weren’t as memorable. The difference between the Garlic and Green Chilli varieties was at first difficult to find, although the chillies, if found, did provide a welcome kiss of heat. The Sweet Coconut Paratha was a step in the right direction, but not as sweet as those in Onam, and generally upstaged by previous bread-based outings. Overall the sides and starters were arguably reflective of the whole experience – not a lot to complain about, but nothing outstanding either. 6/10

Curry

Lamb Green Masala
Chicken Malabar
Chicken Calicut

For the mains we chose three from the specials menu, although like in other establishments, the word special was slightly overused (and thus rendered slightly meaningless). We also had to accommodate that fact that our penguin doesn’t eat fish, so we were putting our eggs in the meat basket

Chicken 65 immediately jumped out of the menu, but it read as if it would be dry, much like the fried lamb dish that has been sampled here before. Instead we chose a Lamb Green Masala, a Chicken Malabar and a Chicken Calicut.

The lamb was not the most tender, but this didn’t detract from the dish which lived up to its green billing. The chilli had a mild kick and the sauce was delicately creamy – probably the pick of the three. The Malabar and Calicut were less distinctive, but still solid performers. The Malabar was creamier and quite masala-like whereas the Calicut had a drier quality with crunchy green peppers and a spicy finish.

All in all, the curries were amply portioned and fairly rich in flavour. However, it is our duty to inform, (putting our bodies on the line so you don’t have to) that there were some repercussions the next day that left us feeling a little empty (Louise made no comment; we are too polite to ask, but let’s assume three strikes). Arguably this was a result of a lot of green chilli, but, either way, we’re obliged to take a point off, so it’s a 6/10 for the curry.

Service

It’s often said that children are best seen and not heard, and this adage could aptly be applied to the waiters at Vijaya Krishna; smart and efficient to their credit, but, softly spoken and distinctly lacking in any banter to their detriment. They weren’t that attentive initially either, but almost overplayed this later as one waiter unerringly stood to attention like a soldier at the horse guards parade. Generally though, no real faults, so 7/10 is a fair score, but if you’re looking for personality or an engaging conversation – Stephen Fry these waiters are not!

Value For Money

The bill came to about £22 each, including tip, with the slightly higher price reflecting the fact that this isn’t a BYOB venue (and arguably to cover the electricity bill when the air conditioning units are kicked into gear). You can certainly get a cheaper experience, with more added value, elsewhere so, despite smart décor, efficient service and decent food, it’s a 6/10 for value.

Summary

A good time was had by all and, with Louise summarising 'This has been the best night/curry of my life'. However from a curry perspective, the experience was a little non-descript. No real complaints, but on this occasion Vijaya Krishna didn’t live up to the hype found in other reviews or the amount we ourselves had built up after a spell away from the spice. Certainly no X Factor, it’s a 32/50 in total. Join us next time where we will be taking a walk on the 'non meat' side

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Onam

15 Mar 2012 – Onam: the curry that lives Onam on
After a light break we got our curry hats back on and booked in for a few cheeky chapatti and a chinwag. Having recently acquired yet another Taste London card, from yet another address, we decided to put it to good use and selected the only Tooting curry house listed, the previously unknown, Onam.

Prior to the curry, we met in The Antelope pub to chew the fat - a homely affair with sofas and a wide selection of niche beers. On this occasion it was Tom who was early and, when I entered, I found him glued to a book. Perhaps unsurprising of a man from North Eastern climes, it was not a classic novel, but simply a book entitled GANGS. However, stabbings and drug smuggling soon made way for light-hearted conversation and we were joined by Johannes who had cycled to the pub. I was worried Tom’s literary choice may have tempted him to steal Johannes’ bike, but luckily we saw away our pints and hot footed it straight to Onam leaving the bike at the mercy of local reprobates (although locking it outside the library was undoubtedly a smart move as mindless theft and books don’t usually mix (except in chapter five of Tom’s aforementioned book)).

Venue

Onam is the furthest we have travelled to date, situated half way between Tooting Broadway and Colliers Wood tube stations. Its location is off the beaten track of the Upper Tooting Road and, while this proves we will go to any length (within reason) to review a curry, the less spritely curry fan would find this a negative, especially when you pass about four other venues wafting out the fresh smell of poppadoms. In other circumstances, the other restaurants on offer could easily have turned our heads, however, we were not going to let something as trivial as geography stop us! Also, these places were not promising 50% off the bill!

A warning to epileptics: Onam catches the eye with some rather intense flashing fairy lights adorning the window (either a deliberate tactic or someone forgot to take the Christmas decorations down). On entering, the interior is similarly striking. On one wall is a large tropical vista, complete with palm trees, whilst on the others is a coat of slightly garish, lime green paint, the like not seen since Changing Rooms sadly left our TV screens in 2004. The walls contrast, further still, with the post-modern, industrial waiter’s plinth that looks like something from a construction site or the set of Robot Wars.

Another notable feature is a statue of Jesus behind a model boat, both sitting on a shelf/shrine on the back wall. We were praying for good curry, but suspect the staff were praying for more customers as we were only one of two groups in the restaurant. The other group left within five minutes of us being there (most likely intimidated by the sight of three curry aficionados), which only served to highlight the lack of atmosphere in the place. Even the Black Eyed Peas, whose dulcet tones were floating out of the sound system, struggled to convince that tonight was going to be a good night.

Although not unpleasant, the interior design was a bit odd. However, it’s fair to say a few more clients and a more traditional soundtrack would likely help ameliorate perceptions or at least distract attention away from the green Skittle shade on the walls. In general, the management’s better tastes were saved for the food, which isn’t a bad thing, but doesn’t help our rating for Venue – 6/10.

Starters and Sides

Poppadoms
Vegetable Biryani
Lemon Rice
Garlic Paratha
Keema Paratha
Sweet Coconut Paratha
Ghee Roast Masala Dosai
Onion Uthappam

Yes, we went a bit wild, but a 50% discount can make one lose their inhibitions! First to arrive were the poppadoms, and as a staple of each review the stakes continue to get higher; Onam’s offer was no exception, the poppadoms themselves were oily fresh and crisp, and the dip selection was the most comprehensive yet - mango chutney, raita, lime pickle, some sort of red onion/cabbage and a fifth coleslaw/cottage cheese concoction (that’s what it tasted like anyway). The amount offered was perfectly apportioned so no fear of the next customer having to mop up our poppadum collateral in succeeding dips.

The Lemon Rice was average really, but the Vegetable Biryani offered a nice alternative to pilao rice. The parathas were similarly contrasting. The keema and garlic parathas lacked the flavour and moisture of their naan cousins found further up the road. On the other hand, the Sweet Coconut Paratha was a delight. Although arguably a bit burnt, the caramelised bread offered a sweet edge to the meal in a crisp, almost biscuit like, delivery.

The Ghee Roast Masala Dosai was a large pancake rolled around a sweet, potato filling. I don’t have much to benchmark against in the dosai stakes, but it was a pleasant change. The potato filling worked well with the creamy mint and onion side it came with. In general, the dosai was as expected and nothing more. The Onion Uthappam, was slightly different. Whilst advertised on the menu as pizza-like, it was, in fact, more like a Spanish omelette that had taken a trip to Southern India. Also, compared to the other dips, the sides that came with the Uthappan were distinctly average, there was a green minty one, a red chilli one, and a browny veggie one – the descriptions tell the story, all very similar in texture and taste. Overall a mixed bag, from the highs of the poppadoms to the low of the Onion Uthappam, let’s give it 6/10

Curry

Malabar Fish Curry
Naan Beef Fry (with sauce)
Lamb Dupiaza

Although the menu read well it was quite limited; our eyes were instantly drawn to the chef and homemade (didn’t realise there was a takeaway option) specials. Initially we plumped for the Kerala Fish Curry, however we were warned off it. Although we are curry aficionados with brass ring pieces to boot, our boyish charm often doesn’t convey this and in this instance we followed the guidance of our house and ended up with the Malabar fish curry instead. The sauce was creamy and fragrant with just a hint of spice, but as is often the case with kingfish, the fish was a little bland.

The Naan Beef Fry had been lovingly slow cooked and just fell off the bone. Although we looked upon this as a positive, given the size of the portion, the bone to meat ratio was not favourable. The meat was tender and the sauce rich, complemented perfectly with our plethora of sides.

With the final curry, it has to be said, we stumbled upon a real gem - the Lamb Dupiaza. It’s a mild curry with subtle flavours combining a luscious mix of succulent lamb and caramelised onion. It was a real fan’s favourite and was subsequently devoured. Its slightly sweet note worked also well with the coconut paratha. If we were to be critical, we’d have to say the portion size was again a little meagre, so, although delightful, it was too quickly gone. All in all, these three dishes were perhaps the stars of the culinary show and deserve a respectable 7/10.

Service

The maitre d' come DJ performed well; he was relaxed, answered our queries and dropped the beat with aplomb. The personal touch was appreciated, although as we were the only customers at the time this is to be expected. We also enjoyed the Morse code knocking system which seemed to be taking place between the kitchen and restaurant - from what we deduced, one knock was for food, two knocks was for more David Guetta to be pumped out from the post-urban DJ booth.

However, we are here to be critical and the fact he racial stereotyped us as not being able to handle the Kerela Fish Curry was a little disappointing; granted that may have been the case, but that decision should have been ours! The questionable choice of music was disappointing too - although mixed to perfection there is only so much I gotta feelin’ one can take while having a curry. In sum, the service was pleasant, but not enough to push the score beyond acceptable; we were open to more conversation and recommendations, but he seemed content with his intermittent knocks from the kitchen. 7/10

Value For Money
With 50% off the total food bill this was a real steal given the amount consumed, however the inclusion of beers did push this up quite a bit. We closed the deal at £42.25, and although this included service we happily rounded it up that extra £2.75. For what we received, this price feels about right, however, if you were to go sans Tastecard, VFM would fall dramatically! To conclude, although we feel this was good value, as a proposition to the general population it can only warrant 7/10

Summary

Overall, this was slightly above average. The Lamb Dupiaza and Sweet Coconut Paratha were a real treat, as were the eclectic mix of artefacts adorning the walls. However, it would benefit from a bit more atmosphere, perhaps Onam could consider a mid-week special to drive up the numbers and challenge those establishments with natural footfall 33/50

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Lahore Karahi

15 Feb 2012 - Lahore Karahi – Back on The Camel

It was a cold, crisp February night, which only meant one thing, the desire to warm up with some hearty curry and review it at the same time. After the initial curry honeymoon period there had been a lull in the action, but it was time to get back on the camel and visit the bright lights of Tooting to see what the randomly chosen Lahore Karahi had to offer. They were put to the test earlier in the day when an eager Michael Murphy called to check a) if there were television facilities and b) whether we could reserve a spot in line with said television. To be fair they rose the challenge and passed with flying colours, the patron chuckled as if to say, 'Have we got a TV!?' all became clear upon arrival, when we were greeted by a plasma screen TV that dwarfed the dining room; they had even taken the trouble to angle it slightly towards our reserved seats. Well done. It is perhaps worth mentioning at this point that the reason for being so keen to have sight of a TV was not the because of the usual Emmerdale, Coronation Street double header but the hotly anticipated champions league clash between Arsenal and AC Milan.

As we have now come to expect from our friend, colleague and general penguin, ‘Hitch the Stitch’ was unable to waddle her way out of the office on time so missed proceedings. I myself also struggled, but the ever-present Michael Murphy was there on time to use himself as collateral to hold the table. He sat gracefully and sipped gently on the byo beers, for which there was no corkage fee.

Lahore Karahi was off to a flying start, the same could not be said of Arsenal who already languished 1-0 behind.

We all know tardiness should be avoided at all costs, but when it comes to completing game changing concept evaluates, sometimes there needs to be an exception to the rule. I found myself in this very situation arriving several minutes late. A memo had clearly not been received by the waiter who seemed appalled by this poor display of punctuality, demanding our order before I had even removed my winter coat! So despite the rip roaring start with the TV and table, chinks were starting to appear in Lahore Karahi’s armour.

The menu read well, we were exuberant at the prospect of sampling what it had to offer, and were encouraged by the nuances of the Lahore Karahi specials which we hoped would set it apart from the crowd. If there was to be one flaw with the menu it would be this, if everything is on the menu is describes as ‘Lahore Karahi Special’ it dilutes the term ‘special’ take note ‘Lawhore’ Karahi. AC Milan 2, Arsenal 0.

Venue

Lahore Karahi sits down towards the Broadway end of Tooting High Street and is very much a no nonsense set up. Practicality definitely won out over interior design when this place was being put together. Having said that, the main architectural feature of a spiral staircase is a nice touch, despite being unsafe for human use. When it comes to curry we never judge a book by its cover, but if we were then things would not bode too well here either. The TV was a nice bonus but not enough to pull the score up, let’s give it a 6

Sides and Starters

Katlama
Lahori Keema Naan (Special)
Tandoori Paratha
Popadoms
Pilao Rice

Let’s cut to the chase - the katlama arrived alarming quickly, it had been microwaved, and although this alone is not enough for condemnation, the taste certainly was. Imagine taking the sole from a tramps shoe, inserting a layer of lamb mince and then allowing him to continue his journey around the park before removing, warming and serving to a couple of hungry curry critics. Not the best of starts.

The Popadoms came with the usual suspects and were sufficient, as too was the rice, although it did look as if it had been prepared at a Klaxons gig. Very ‘Nu Rave’, there were fluorescent specs running throughout the rice - we don’t know what purpose this served, but we felt it was a nice touch. Both Tandoori Paratha and Lahori Keema Naan (Special) can be summarised together, as they both were okay on flavour, but went from moist, to card, to papier-mâché in texture. We looked unfavourably on advertising the Keema Naan as a reminder of Lahore. I don’t know if the Lahore tourist board are aware of this, if they are, I won’t be visiting, if they’re not, someone really should tell them. Nothing greatly wrong but by no means amazing, let down significantly by the Katlama, so it’s a 6.

Curry

Karahi Karela Bitter Melon Gosht
Chicken Tikka Masala (Lahore Karahi Special)

Let’s start with the Karahi Karela Bitter Melon Gosht, and I know what you’re thinking, what on earth’s that? We were just as perplexed, so thought, what better way to find out than ordering it! It was lamb, with green vegetables and Melon and it has to be said a delectable little dish, subtly sweet from the Melon and yet a balance of richness coming from the lamb. Some of the herbage was a little burnt though and this left a bitter aftertaste (literally).

It was difficult to really see what the USP of the Chicken Tikka Masala was - certainly in terms of its status as a Lahore Karahi Special, but, as we know, ‘special’ here is used so liberally its sentiment is lost. At first it was a little repugnant, with a strong taste of paneer, this didn’t sit well with the chicken. However, as the flavours mellowed together the creamy edge started to come through and it was actually rather pleasant. As always the chicken was succulent (we make no apologies for using this word again). The lamb definitely outfought the chicken in this battle and perhaps deserves a ‘special’ of its own, with this in mind it leaves the overall score as a steady 7. AC Milan 3, Arsenal 0

Service

Now, there is prompt and there is prompt, unfortunately the waiters were the latter. I have already mentioned the incident upon arrival, but this continued throughout the meal with my plate being removed while Mike was still knee deep in Karahi Karela Bitter Melon Gosht. There was very little engagement when we tried to explore the menu, with a couple of barked responses. There was also no consistency between waiters, I appreciated the need to all muck in, but of the 9 members of staff present, we must have had 8 at our table at different intervals. So, despite the promising start from the excellent telephone conversation, we were a little disappointed - overall this leaves them with a 6.

Value for Money

As we now know when it comes to a Tooting curry, VFM is always a favourable metric, and Lahore Karahi is no different, a thoroughly good feed for £27 (£30 with tip). However we need to calibrate this not against London as a whole, but the competitive universe that is Tooting’s selection of curry houses. So, with this in mind, it is good, but falls short of some of its competition - Spice Village being the first to spring to mind. We initially thought of awarding 8; however this had be marked down ever so slightly due to some underhanded bill tampering. A mysterious 80p was placed on the bill; we racked our brains but just could not put our finger on it, and thus have had to assume foul play. If there is anyone out there who can shed some light on this please get in touch, and if you manage to solve the mystery you will be treated to a complementary curry and blog mention (complements to Mike for agreeing to put up the cash to do this). Overall VFM 7. AC Milan 4, Arsenal 0

Summary

I’m pleased to announce the award of our first ever X Factor point, this goes to Lahore Karahi for accommodating our request to be placed in line with the TV and having it not only angled towards the table but, the champions league playing at a nice volume. This award, however, is not enough to boost the overall scores which come in at a rather average 33/50. They have rolled a 3, and this leaves them lying bottom of the leader board. Not cheap enough to rely on VFM alone, and not classy enough to be considered a pleasant restaurant; Lahore Karahi is caught between a rock and a hard place and must work harder if it wants to be likened to its cultural capital namesake.

Post Script:

Michael Murphy Supports Arsenal – He was not a happy man

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